December 2010, Be Still.......

Just stopping by my blog to say hello and Merry Christmas everyone.  I made it through my first semester of nursing school and I am now on Christmas break.  It was one of the most stressful, demanding, and rewarding semesters ever and I loved it!  I learned sooo much and gave my first shot this year...peice of cake!  Well, not the first one, but by the tenth one I was a pro! LOL. But, boy am I enjoying a break!  I have been cleaning, shopping, knitting, and relaxing.  I got a new kitten, a rescue, she was three weeks old when I got her.  A friend of a friend found her outside in a compost pile.  It has been over 17 years since I had a kitten and she is a joy (most of the time).  She loves the dog, and as I type they are curled up sleeping together in the dog's bed.  What a sight it was at first, a one hundred pound dog and a one pound kitten!  She walked right up to her and told her who was boss around here.  SO funny, The kitten absolutely fearless.  Her name is Zsu Zsu Petals.  And she comes when she is called that too!  She weighs over three pounds now and is a part of the family, we love her to pieces and so does the dog, (when no one is looking)


My school work has really cut into my meeting attendance, so while I am off, I am enjoying going to some meetings I have been unable to attend for the last few months. Nice.


On a sad note, I grieve today over the loss of a friend.  She was diagnosed with lung cancer less than a month ago, right before Thanksgiving.  She died yesterday.  She leaves behind a loving husband and a twelve year old daughter. It all happened very fast.  This was a woman that in the twenty plus years I have known her has never spoken an unkind word towards anyone.  She accepted people for who they were and not who she wanted them to be.  She is going to be missed by many.  By the way, she was not a member of our fellowship.  Some people are just born that way.


Which brings me to the another  reason I have not been making time to blog that much anymore.  I have been finding it unnecessary to go on about my knowledge or expertise (LOL) on any given subject anymore.  Even as I type here today and look over the page at all of the "Me's" and "I's", it seems so self serving, "navel gazing" as my friend Hope has so adequately labeled it.  I am finding today that I need to do more listening than talking.  What a concept huh?  Ha, ha.  I have spent almost three years pouring out my heart here and today I choose to listen. 


Last year at this time I had my New Years resolution come to me in a gentle nudging thought.  The words unconditional love kept running through my head.  Making a daily effort to practice unconditional love has changed my life.  It made it possible for me to stop playing God, and just let go.  To love all of God's children unconditionally.  Even the ones I really did not like, I could remind myself that they were worthy of my love, just as we are all worthy of God's love, so I had to leave all judgements up to God.  It almost sounds as if I was really doing a lot of people a big favor huh?  Well the opposite is true!  What a gift to give to myself!  It has meant the release of so much negativity!  I have also learned to love myself more.


So, this year my mantra seems to be "listen". 
"Be still and know that I am God."
 So I will listen.  I am not saying I am taking a complete vow of silence, by any means.  But if I go to a meeting with the intention of just listening....I hear so much more. I am not sitting there running my comment around in my brain seeing how it fits with what this person or that person said.  Then when or if it is my turn to speak, if I truly feel something in my heart, not my head, then I will share it.  If I want to comment on someone else's comment, then I can always do that after the meeting.

 Occasionally I will stop by here to listen you guys.  If I don't comment please don't be offended.  I got over getting comments on my blog a long time ago!  But I do need to put the moderation on just in case because I had some weird stuff on there I had to delete.  ( don't want to say what it was because then it might come up in a search, LOL!  Get my drift!)
I hope everyone out there has a wonderful Christmas and a very Happy New Year. I am so grateful to be alive, healthy, and sober today.  I have enought to eat and a nice warm bed to sleep in at night.  I have a God that loves me and guides me.  I want for nothing to day.  But if Santa see's fit to leave that "Coach Boyfriend" watch under the tree this year, I guess I will just have to accept it.  LOL!
Thank you for listening.
Patty