Saturday I went to my friend's funeral. My neighbor passed away. She and I have been through a lot the last few months and it has taught me so much. I kind of regret not sharing it here as it happened, but I think that is how it is supposed to be. She taught me that I can do my very little small part in the big scheme of things. I do not have to try and do everything and be everything to everyone. I hope that I showed her the unconditional love that I was trying to convey. It has been a long road for her and I . We have been neighbors for over 18 years. We used to throw back some Crown Royal together too. The last few years she has not been well. In and out of the hospital. "Accidental" overdoses. I think I did write here once about her trying to break into the neighbors house a couple of years ago while naked,carrying a screwdriver and a dish scrubbie.

The last few months I have had to call 911 and social services on several occasions. Every time I saw her coming up the driveway I would say, "oh no what now." Usually she would be crying and disoriented. Funny as disoriented as she would get she almost always made it to my house. I would listen to her tale of woe and then I would eventually walk her home. In the last month I have had to call 911 twice because she thought someone was dead in her house. After the last 911 call, she spent nine days in the hospital. I felt so horrible. I told the officer who came about it all. How I wished I could do more. This nice officer assured me that I was doing plenty, and between he and I, we were going to get her the help she needed. Week before last I saw her coming up the driveway. Oh boy I thought, what now? I'm busy dammit. She was in her bathrobe and night gown with about four pairs of socks on, a cane and carrying all of her medicine bottles. She really looked good though. Cleaned up with clean clothes on. Teeth all shined up, both plates in! Hmmm. She came in and sat down and said ,"Pat, I want to thank you for everything you have done for me." I was floored. I made us some lunch and we sat and chatted like we had not done in years. Tears roll down my cheeks as I write this as they did that day. I got to visit with my old friend that I had not seen in years. I told her I loved her and she was my friend. I told her she was a miracle and I was so happy for her. She told me she loved me too. I was so happy. A couple of days later, and this my biggest regret, she asked to come down to her house she had something for me. I went down and she had a whole tub of stuff for me from old bras and hand lotion to expensive jewelery. I did not take any of it. Later on I thought, I should have taken something, she was grateful and wanted to give me something.

On Wednesday I went to go out on my front porch and there was a business card stuck in it. It was from the police officer that I had talked to weeks before. I called him the next morning and it was he who told me of her death. This lady did not live alone, and she had several children. I never thought I would take this so hard. I am so sad. I am allowing myself to be sad too, I never used to do that.
Goodbye my little neighbor friend. I know you are in heaven. I know you are at peace. Thank you for being my friend.